It's been a year since I've updated this blog, and honestly, I've had writers block for a while. Things have been kind of crazy, and I really haven't known what to write about. I asked my husband for his thoughts, and he told me that there is so much time spent focusing on the hard and the bad side of autism, that I should write about the positives. He said that there are so many great and adorable things that happen in our home, that just don't get talked about, but should because no one gets to see them except for us. I try really hard to keep things honest, and not pretend that everything is all hunky dory, and completely fabulous, because the reality of the situation is that we all have our tough days, and living with autism is really hard. I won't lie to you and tell you that everything is always super great for us, because that's just not how life works. But at the same time, we do still have a lot of wins that I guess I don't talk much about. I don't even know why that is. I don't know whether I'm trying to not rub it in anyone's face saying "hey look what my kid did that your kid can't", or what my reasoning is. I didn't even realize that is what I've been doing at all. I guess, in a way, I try to sympathize with everyone. I try to share our struggles as a way of showing other families that hey, you aren't alone in this, we go through all of this crap too. We have a lot of really tough days, just like everyone else. We have days when I want nothing more than to slam my head into a wall, scream, cry, and eat my weight in caffeine and chocolate donuts. But we also have some really great days where life just seems normal for once. Days when it almost feels like we are the typical american family, and autism doesn't exist in our world for the time being.
The last several months have been tough for everyone, and I won't lie, it's definitely been a challenge for us. Having the kids home all the time, and losing their services has been hard. We also moved two more times since I last posted anything. We've now moved 5 times in the last two years, and while everyone I know cringes at the thought of moving just once, and always asks me how I do it, I just shrug. Moving really isn't so bad. My kids actually adjust to moving incredibly well. Infact, they look forward to moving to a new place, probably more than my husband and I do. The last home we lived in had a ton of problems. It was a great size house, and we had a ton of space both inside and outside, for the kids to run around. On the surface, the house was perfect. But what no one but my husband and I saw, were the little things that actually became really big things to us. We were all so glad to get out of that place, and move somewhere better. We also got to move from a tiny town to a major city. Because of Covid-19, we won't get to really experience all the true benefits of being back in a large city (mainly the availability of therapy services for the kids) for quite some time, but the one thing that I am really enjoying, is the availability of food and grocery delivery. Because of Covid, I am having to home school our children, and it honestly takes up a ton of time. But while I am busy with teaching my kids, my groceries are delivered right to my front porch, that I ordered from the comfort of my bed the night before. It is honestly the best thing ever! Yes, I have to pay a delivery fee, and I of course am always sure to tip my delivery driver. But I don't have to take any time out of my day to cruise the grocery aisles of our local Walmart while my kids fight over random things, or whine and cry about what they want, but I don't want to buy them. I don't have to deal with any of that. I can order exactly what I need, right from the app on my phone, and have it delivered in as little as two hours if I need to. Grocery delivery has seriously become my favorite thing in the world lately! I even had our groceries delivered the day that we moved. You have no idea how amazing it was to move into a new home and immediately have groceries delivered right to our door, without ever having to take a break from unloading the moving truck. It was awesome! We of course still had dinner delivered that night (and lunch the next day), because hello, who wants to cook after moving?! But at least we had food for the kids to eat all day.
Along with our recent move, came downsizing. We moved from a house that was 1, 371 square feet to an 1,156 square foot townhouse. It's not too much smaller, but those 215 square feet actually make a huge difference. We went from having 3 large bedrooms, to only having two. The kids are sharing a bedroom again, which they actually love! We also had a very large kitchen and laundry room at the old house, which we don't have at the new one. But that's ok, because we don't need the huge laundry room. Having a bigger kitchen would be nice, but we know this move isn't permanent, so we aren't crying about it. We just have to push the kids out of the kitchen when we are trying to cook, because there just isn't room for more than one person in there at a time. Even though we've got less space at the new house, it actually works for us, and we've added more furniture to our home than we had previously. Because I am having to home school our kids, my husband and I are doing everything we can to make my life easier, and make our home into a better, more accessible and learning conductive environment, as we possibly can. We've added a dining room table and chairs, which we actually haven't had in about 6 years. We've talked about getting a dining room set for a really long time, but we honestly just never really had a use for one. The last time we had a dining room set, it was basically used as a catch all. I think we only ever used it maybe twice, for dinner. It was just somewhere to put stuff to get it out of the way. The mail would be dropped there, purses, car keys, toys, clothes that needed to be put away, movies, groceries, etc. The dining room table was basically temporary storage for whatever thing happened to be in our hands at the time, that we needed to put down somewhere, and was instantly forgotten about. Every so often it would get cleared off, and everything would be moved to its actual home, but the mess always came back. That table was never clear of junk the entire time we had it. But now, in our new home, we actually have a dining room table that we use for eating. We've always just eaten our meals in the living room in front of the tv. The kids are used to running around playing while eating at the coffee table. Because our kids are only 4 and 7, using the coffee table for them to eat, just worked for us. It's at their level, and they can reach their food without our assistance. It was the perfect solution for not needing high chairs or booster seats. But now, for the first time, we are actually legitimately sitting down to eat our meals as a family. Just yesterday, Edward helped me make dinner, and Serenity went into the living room to tell Daddy to join her at the table for dinner. Chris wasn't even hungry at the time, because he had eaten a big meal while the rest of us napped, but he was thrilled that Serenity wanted him to come sit at the table with us while we ate dinner. We've only had the dining set for a few days, but already, the kids have adjusted to having it, and expect to eat their meals in the dining room, as a family. It's a huge change for us, but one that the kids have quickly and happily adapted to. They are still adjusting to not using phones and tablets at the table, but we actually haven't had a fight about it at all.
Having to switch from traditional schooling to home school has been a challenge for our family. This whole Covid situation is nothing short of a nightmare. However, the one positive to it has been that it really hasn't effected our family too much at all. Because of autism, our kids are more or less homebodies, and don't really like going places. They actually prefer to be home rather than out somewhere. When everything first started shutting down, it was tough for us not getting to go places like school, Walmart, and to visit Daddy at work. But now that we've gotten used to it, things are actually great. We've been able to slow down a lot, and haven't had a busy schedule at all. My calendar used to be completely full of therapy and doctors visits for all of the different specialists that come with having special needs children (pediatrician, feeding therapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy, ABA therapy, Gastroenterologist, Optometrist, Dentist, Neurologist, Pulmonologist, ENT, Developmental Pediatrician, etc.) We were always so busy running from one therapy, or doctor to the next, and then of course had all kinds of school events thrown in; book fair, field trip, class performance, back to school night, teacher conference, IEP meetings, etc. But now our calendar is completely empty, and it's really nice! We've had a few doctor appointments, but otherwise, absolutely nothing has been going on. Chris and I thought about restarting the kids therapies, but then decided against it. We have 3 asthma patients living in our home, one extremely severe, and the risk of catching Covid is just too great for us. We've made the difficult decision to self isolate, and it's really benefited our family. With the exception of allergies and a couple bad colds for Chris and I, we've all been healthy. Usually, as soon as school starts, we've got a sick kid within a week or two. And then the sickness travels through the house for the next month or two. But because we've been isolating and keeping to ourselves, only Chris and I have been sick, and we've been the ones going out as needed (and Chris to work). Chris and I have both been tested for Covid twice (negative every time), but the kids actually haven't been sick. This has been the first time that everyone in our home has been completely healthy for several months at a time. It's been really nice!
As we try to navigate our new normal, Chris and I have been trying to keep the kids busy, and learning. Last summer when school got out in May, I had gone to Target and bought some educational workbooks for the kids to use over the summer, to keep them learning before they were able to start back to school in the fall. Our kids love going to school, and are all about learning new things. They've been watching Sesame Street since they were babies, and learned their alphabet and numbers while learning to speak. When Edward was one and two years old, we had flash cards that we worked with him on, learning new words, and learning to count. I remember Edward was able to count to twenty by age two. He is incredibly smart, and it just blows us away! The one thing that I've really begun to notice while teaching our kids at home, is that Edward is mini Chris. That kid got his father's photographic memory, and he remembers everything! I have what I often refer to as a Swiss cheese memory. I can't even remember what I was doing two minutes ago, much less what I ate for lunch, or bought at the store yesterday. I will literally walk into a room to do something, and then have to call Chris to ask him what I am supposed to be doing because I just can't remember. My memory is non existent lately, but Edward is sharp as a tack. Edward just turned 7 a month ago, but he remembers things from two years ago that I've completely forgotten all about. He'll tell me things that I am completely astonished by. I'll mention it to Chris, and both him and Edward will sit there telling me all about it, and I won't even remember it happening at all. Edward's memory is flawless, but at the same time, he gets bored really easily. Both of my kids have ADHD, so home schooling them comes with constant redirection. We spent 5 afternoons a week doing school work last summer. I had our days set up so they kids could play in the morning, go to therapy, eat lunch, take naps, do school work, then play some more before dinner and bedtime. When the schools shut down in March because of Covid, I pretty much reverted back to our summer schedule. I'm not a morning person, so getting up in the morning is really hard for me. I am very grateful and spoiled to be a stay at home mom. Even when school was in session, I would roll out of bed in the morning, get the kids ready for school, drop them off, then come home and go back to bed. But now that we don't have the luxury of going to traditional school, things are completely different. I still don't get up at the crack of dawn, but our days a lot different now than I ever thought they would be. I sleep in almost every morning while the kids hang out playing on their tablets, playing video games, and digging through their toy boxes for whatever toy they happen to want to play with, that always manages to be at the very bottom. But once I get up for the day, it's school time. Like last summer, I bought a bunch of workbooks for the kids. I spent about $70 on Amazon, buying new workbooks for the kids to use. We still use the books for last year, as well as all of the workbooks that were sent home for Edward when school shut down. We spend 1-2 hours doing school work every morning, then have lunch, and then I send the kids upstairs to take naps. Nap time is mandatory in our home. Even I take naps. I love nap time! It's really the only time that I have a quiet house, and can actually get things done without the constant barrage of questions, whining and fighting from the children. But then after nap time, I get the kids snacks, and we go back to doing school work for a couple more hours. We are usually done by 4pm (depending on how long nap time lasts). Because my kids both suffer from ADHD, every couple minutes I have to remind them to stay on or get back on task. I can't just give them a set of pages to work from, then sit down and do something else like read a book, because they need constant attention and supervision. Unlike me, Edward loves learning math. I completely stink at math, but at least only being in second grade, I don't have anything to worry about yet. The other day, I taught Edward the concept of adding numbers and 'carrying the one'. (I'm not really sure what exactly that is called.) I learned math the traditional way, and the common core junk that the schools teach kids now completely baffles me. I of course taught Edward to do his math the way that I learned to do it, and he immediately picked it up, and did several pages of work within only a few short minutes. I was completely shocked, and so incredibly proud of him! Math comes so easy to Edward, just like it does for Chris, and Edward gets so excited to do it, and blows right through it super quick. It's incredible to see how excited he gets over doing it, and watch his little mind work. I have never been excited for anything the way that Edward gets over school work. That child absolutely LOVES to learn! I always hated going to school, and would come up with reasons to convince my mom to not make me go. But Edward is the opposite, and begs us to go to school. The whole shut down has been really hard on him. He doesn't understand why he can't go see his friends, and hang out with his teachers. We've tried explaining that there is a really bad sickness, and that if we let him go somewhere, he could potentially get really sick and end up in the hospital. Our kids don't understand that. Over the last few months, my kids have stopped asking to go to school, probably because they've gotten used to the answer being no, school is closed. But having their new workbooks, and getting them back on a learning schedule has really helped them have a sense or normalcy again, and not be so bored. We also signed Edward up for a virtual summer school class through the University of Alabama this summer, which he absolutely loved! It gave Chris and I the chance to see how well he would do with virtual learning, should we have to do it this next school year. Edward did amazing in his class! We spent a month learning about Optical Illusions, and doing fun projects on google meet, with the rest of the class. Edward loved getting to interact with the other kids through the computer screen, and the adjustment really wasn't hard for him at all. He knew what time his class started every morning, and would come wake me up an hour ahead of time, to remind me that he had class that day, and that I needed to get up and get the computer set up for him. We are all registered for virtual learning for the 20/21 school year, and we are looking forward to school finally starting in a few weeks. We are just waiting for our new school and district to give us the their plans, and the materials we need to participate. But until then, we've got our new house all set up, and we are spending a few hours a day working out of all the work books I bought for the kids. Edward spends most of his time doing math and language arts work, while Serenity practices tracing and writing her letters and numbers. Our kids love to learn, and actually beg me to do work with them every morning. it's pretty adorable! What kid do you know that actually enjoys doing school work? Definitely not me! I've never been that person. But my kids love it, and it makes home schooling them so much easier for me. I'm not sure what this new school year is going to look like for us, but as of right now, it's pretty simple. We wake up, play, do school work, eat, nap, eat and do more school work, then go play again. And our PE consists of dancing around to loud music. The other day the kids were bouncing around to the Spice Girls while I was blasting a 90's playlist from Apple Music. It was so much fun! We may not get to do traditional schooling this year, but the School Of Mommy is most definitely in session, and it's really not too dull.
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